The 1999/2000 FPW Message Board Awards

Most likely to be FPW in disguise: Aphew

Least likely to be FPW in disguise: FPW

Message board comedian: Bjones

Most mysterious: Rada

Most likely to keep the demands for "Aftershock" sated: Susan

Most likely to be mistaken for RJ in a dark alley: Jake Nacht

Most likely to post on topic: FPW

Least likely to post on topic: Lisa

Most likely to be president of the FPW fan club: Stephen King

Most likely to ask "Which books are in the Adversary Cycle?": Any newbie

Most conspicuous by his absence: Hutch

Most likely to be everyone's favorite author: F. Paul Wilson

Most likely to post "You rule!" and never post again: Male newbies ages 14-19

Most likely to fan conversation for a week and then disappear for two months: Mike

Most likely to be mistaken for Mike: Michael

Most likely to be overawed upon meeting FPW in person: Lisa

Least likely to be overawed upon meeting FPW in person: Aphew

Newest Newbie: Virgil

Most devoted overseas fan: Heide Goody

Most likely to be confused with FPW: Paul

Least likely to return from lurkdom: Mrs. Aloa

Most respectful: Marc B.

Most likely to ask FPW a sensible question (and get an answer): Susan

Most likely to mailbomb Ben Affleck if he wins the RJ role: Michael

Least likely to win the RJ role: Bob Saget

Most likely to defend Ben Affleck's honor: (tie) Lisa & Susan

Most likely to own everything FPW's ever published: FPW

Second most likely to own everything FPW's ever published: Aphew

Most likely to be mistaken for FPW in a dark alley: Colin Andrews

Least likely to be mistaken for FPW in a dark alley: Danielle Steel

Most likely to besmirch FPW's good name: (Tie) Fix-it Farfel and Handyman Gack (Sorry Chris and Mike! hehehe)

Most missed: Rev. Pablo

Special Lurker Award: The Chris Triumverate (Chris, Chris Foix, and the third Chris with the rotating last name)

Runner-up lurkers: Zath, DaveM, Andy Shelton, Brennor Matheson, Jim Gdog

Most straightforward poster: Anonymous Coward (posted April 29th, 2000)

Best subject line: (Tie) "Mr. Grapegrabber" (Brennor, May 24th, 2000) and "You killed Kenny?" (Caleb Schooley, July 5th, 2000)

Lisa's favorite subject line: "Lisa is our new best friend" (Brennor, May 29th, 2000)

Most obscure subject line: "Who ordered the pizza...?" (mikey3245, June 3rd, 2000)

Posters mentioned in subject lines: Aphew, Susan, Mike, Lisa, Hutch, FPW, Dave, Chris, Brennor

Most blatant attempt at a pick-up: "Susan is a brainiac!" (Mike, June 6th, 2000)

Truest subject line: "Susan is a brainiac!" (Mike, June 6th, 2000)

Most Fanboy-esque discussion: Who would win in a fight, RJ or Jake Nacht?

Least welcome potential message board participant: Michael Mann

Most frequently mentioned books: THE KEEP, ALL THE RAGE, NIGHTKILL, SIBS, BLACK WIND

Most hashed out, re-hashed, hashbrowned, and hashished topic: Who will play RJ in the movie?

Character who most deserves more message board space: Peter LaNague

Most mentioned short stories BESIDES "Aftershock": "Midnight Mass," "A Day in the Life"

Most strangely under-asked question: Why is there no tomb in THE TOMB?

Most likely to sell her children on eBay: Lisa

Name most likely to give you the urge to sneeze: Aphew

Most regretted video rental/purchase: THE KEEP

Evidence that this message board is frequented mostly by male fans: Bati thread

Most attached file: "Aftershock"

Most likely to feature FPW in a dream: Lisa

Funniest typos: Eric referring to Mann's THE KEEP -- "I've craped better films then that" (July 6, 2000)

Most thought-provoking question: Why do we assume Jack is white? (BJones, July 19, 2000)

Most confused poster: Someone who tried to hire Jack for a fix-it job (can't find the post - but I remember it!)

Least missed feature of the old message board: The obscenity detector, I donkey!ume

Most hilarious posting: Aphew's email pooping incident (and most hilarious response: by the person who said they'd hate to see him send a fax).

Most dedicated fpw fan: Lisa (Note: this nomination was from Chris Foix; I disagree and think that Aphew deserves this title)

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